Holding a chair for Linda

My weekend was pretty great, and also pretty sad. 

Let me tackle the great parts first....

An early birthday celebration with some of my very best friends. Where we ate too much good food, looked at high priced fashion, and then ate some more. WIN. WIN. 

Seeing my family! And ask me how happy I was that Cody reached out to see me? SO HAPPY.  So happy in fact, I made him suffer by taking a selfie with me.  And I'm really not sure why we look like we are either in the club, or trying to develop film.

And of course spending time with my parents. Kids are ALWAYS pumped to go spend time with either set of their grandparents.

But the sad part.

I finally got to see my Aunt Linda.

The kids hung out in the waiting room, reading newspapers, eating candy, and whatever else, while I headed to the ICU with Dad and Jo.

For 22 days I've been in daily contact with my parents about Linda, with phone calls, texts, e-mails, etc., but all along I've just had to envision her. Many times it's felt terrible to be away and not be in the throws of it all with everyone, but there is also some relief in not seeing it.

Saturday I finally saw it.

My Aunt Linda sitting up in bed, eyes wide open, and even a smile that I certainly didn't expect to see. But yet, she was a shell of what she was just a mere 22 days ago.

Sitting there struggling to breathe on her own, sounding as though she might choke to death, and well, I just can't explain what it was like to watch her.

Her eyes glancing down at her fingers that she is slowly losing, and I just kept wondering what was going through her mind.

I just kept thinking, she must feel trapped.

She's come SO FAR, yet, what will her new life be like? Of course we are all praying for restoration, but also for strength for her to face this road.

It honestly broke my heart.

Where she is now: Her heart still keeps going into AFib, she has a blood clot, she still has a tracheotomy, she's going to lose several fingers, possibly some toes too.... and that's all I can think of right now.

A LONG WAY TO GO.

But she's also come so far!

She won't sit around the table with us this year at Thanksgiving or Christmas, but I'm praying that next year she will have a special place at the table.

Linda, we are holding a chair just for you....

His love endures

Take it in. 

Enjoy the moment.

Because in the blink of an eye, your life can change.

As my Aunt is laid up in a hospital bed, struggling just to take her next breath, I took a little extra time this weekend to just appreciate.

Appreciate what I have.

What I've been given.

I have so much.

And life is so fragile.

Only His love endures.

Join in the lava

Last night as the kids were wrestling around playing "stay out of the hot lava" I made a decision.....

Yes, I had laundry to do, and packing, and dishes,and gray hairs to color, and shall I continue?

But sometimes you just have to say NO to the list.

And make a decision to join your kids in the lava.

A conversation between P & G

"Paul, tell me something to blog about. I'm just out of ideas right now."

"Well, you'll have something to blog about this weekend."

"Yes, but that doesn't help me NOW."

"Well, blog about the pictures of the kids."

"I did already, glad to know you don't read my blog."

"Whatever, I catch up from time to time..... Okay, blog about me! You never blog about me!"

"Okay I can do that soon, but I need something quick and easy to blog about tonight."

"Oh, then blog about our sex life."


THE END.

(P.S. Paul told me to document this conversation.)

I die

Time for some NINE year old pics...

And duh, who else can capture such beautiful pictures? Of course, Brittany. Seriously, she has a gift!!

Little sister had to join in too...

And well, I die.

I mean, have you ever?

Excuse me while I go weep.

From the bottom of my heart, THANK YOU.

A most unusual Halloween

This has been without a doubt, the most unusual Halloween ever. 

Right up until 5:45, I didn't even think we were going to try it out there in that insane weather. But Brittany text me and said that people were out walking around....

I sat on my couch for all of about 10 seconds considering the elements outside, and I quickly decided that we should throw caution to the wind and go for it too. I mean if everyone else is doing it....

I started yelling like some sort of a SWAT agent, "hurry up, get dressed, HURRY, HURRY, GO, GO, GO" 

And out we went, to trick-or-treat in some very tricky weather, and get some of the worst Halloween pictures ever. 

BUT.

We quickly figured out that we were going to have fun.

The wind was whipping, and the leaves flying all around us, which made it seem more spooky and Halloween'ish.

And the kids were just so happy to be out after all.

By the time we got into the neighborhood the streets were blocked off and we knew we wouldn't be able to meet up with our friends. That really stunk.

But we made the most of it, and had a really fun time.

You know Hope had planned all along to be a bride, but last minute she saw this sparkly flapper dress, and all of a sudden it was, "bride who?"

As we put up her costume tonight she told me next year she would be a bride.

I so love this time of year, it's just plain fun.

And although it was a different kind of Halloween, I think this will go down as one of our most memorable.

My little football player and flapper are now fast asleep, and mommy has plans to teach the kids about taxes and go take 10% off the top. Snickers, here I come....

Happy Halloween.

She is still here

I thought I should do a little update on my Aunt Linda....

My parents have been doing a great job on keeping us updated on her condition, and let me just say it is a veritable roller coaster. 

One minute they are calling in the family, or we are hearing things about her body shutting down, and then the next minute you hear that she is perking up and showing signs of improvement. 

But as of tonight, as I type this, my Aunt is still here and we are still holding onto hope. 

As far as her condition? It still sounds bleak: Kidneys are not working, and most likely she will be on dialysis the rest of her life. They have to take out the respirator soon and if she is not able to breath on her own then she will require a trachea. Her blood count is still elevated and she's still running a fever. And I've also heard something about maybe losing some toes. 

UGH. 

But she is here. 

My hat wearing, wig wearing, question asking, beautiful smiling, fun loving, Aunt Linda is still here. 

Lastly I just wanted to share this... Linda taught for 40 years, and one of her students wrote this about her, and I think it's beautiful. Kalen Anne Carty-Kemker 12:36am Oct 29 Linda was just my teacher at Eastern in the 5th grade, but you see, saying she was just my teacher is not even remotely correct. I was a busy, talkative student who had my desk strategically located next to her desk to try to curtail my verbal enthusiasm. I was certain that I was not particularly smart or special because I had spent most of my first few years in school bored or reprimanded...... Until "Mrs. Wisecarver". She was the first one to show me that learning is an adventure! She was the first one who never let me be bored. She was the first one who seemed to have as much energy and enthusiasm as I did. Without a doubt, I am the doctor I am because she was " just the fifth grade teacher" that she was. Although I am not a close family friend who has kept in touch, I have prayed for her daily. I cannot imagine the emotional struggles you must all be dealing with. I felt compelled to share this and you may do so as you wish. I hope someday, you will have the opportunity to share this with her along with the many other messages that I am sure she has received. Kalen